Dear Eric: I have two children, 8 and 13 years old. In most cases, brothers rivalry is almost the same as any other family.
One night, I picked them up in the dance studio and we got home. All were tired (especially me!), And they said they went to bed.
Around 10, I thought I had heard fans and squeaky. Thinking that I was just dreaming or not full of awake, I went back to sleep. The noise became stronger and woke me up.
I opened to the children’s room and surprised and horrified me.
My youngest son was tied with his hands behind him and adhesive tape on his mouth. My eldest son was on him with his sweaty plants on his face, tickling him to the point where my youngest son lost control or his intestines.
I shouted to stop. My eldest son was still smiling and continued. After a surprised minute, I threw it the youngest child.
I told my husband when he got home and was more angry about how derogatory it was, something in the sense of “children will be children.” He said he was “making a mountain with a molehill.”
I felt guilty when my youngest son asked me why I stayed there for a while before stopping that. I hope it is not a bad father to go back to sleep when I thought something was wrong.
Am I guilty of being a bad mother? I think my husband needs a attention call.
– Mom of two
Dear mom: You are not a bad mom. Intervenes; You stopped an anguish and chaotic scene. (Adhesive tape?
Boys Being Boys is accustomed to apologize a wide range of behaviors, from the benign to the unacceptable. It is not a useful capture.
The brothers enter skirts, but parents should pay close attention to the fact that it did not begin to become intimidation or abuse, especially because the difference in age/maturity between brothers results in an imbalance of power.
You and your husband should make sure that both children know that the unwanted touch is not allowed, and that includes tickles. And retenting? Not only not allowed, but dangerous.
Being firm about this with your eldest son communicates with him who needs to find healthier points of sale for energy (he can also help with this). In addition, he communicates to his youngest son who is safe at home.
Dear Eric: Our 63 -year -old “Josie” has always been naive, gullible and more follower than a leader.
She has no university education, but always seems to fall into a job that pays well.
In the last seven years, he has met with a friend of a previous work, and that is when we notice a dramatic change in his mental state. The family has been dealing with their theories and beliefs of conspiracy of foreigners living under Walmart; Josie states that it is a star seed from another planet.
He took an antidepressant years ago he moved away from him. She has been admitted in recent anxiety, but will not return to a pill because she will not trust Big Pharma.
Josie has a daughter who lives outside the State and does not know the level of concern we have for her mental state. My niece asked me to join her mother to visit her, but I can’t take more than two hours with Josie, much less a week.
Do we let him live life in the land of La-La or suggest that they are an intervention or advice?
– worried sisters
Dear sisters: While it could have initially seemed that, when linking with an old co -worker, Josie was following a wrong way of thinking, the sudden change suggests that he could be experiencing a mental health crisis. The intervention could help keep it safe.
Talk to your niece about your concerns and see if you share them. It can be honest that an extended trip is not something that can do, but consider a shorter visit with the intention of having a better idea of what is happening with Josie.
It is key to have an open communication in the family about what you are, reasonable expectations and what you can do to help. You can find resources to have a preconversation thesis and additional support on the website of the administration of substance and mental health services (Samhsa.gov).
Write what you are watching when I hear from Josie. Listen to Josie without judging and reflects what he is listening, also without judging. This will make it easier for you to trust you when you sacrifice support or suggest you see professional help.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingeric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19110. Follow it on Instagram @ouric and register for your weekly bulletin in Reichomas.com.